last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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