girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
