Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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