We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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