don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
