I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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