she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
