brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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