It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
