I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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