Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
