just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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