4 words: hood of his car
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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