Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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