oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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