His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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