I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
