If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
