that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize