i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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