You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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