where am i from again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
