Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize