I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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