I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
