I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
my nose is crying tears of wow.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
