I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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