Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
