Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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