I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
