woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
