i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
