Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
