It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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