VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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