I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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