She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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