i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
