i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
