Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
