Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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