Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
