Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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