And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize