ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
