Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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