thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
