So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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