That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you never un-have a 4some
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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