I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
