How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
