at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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