Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
