we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
