He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
