ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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