Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
