and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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