4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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