There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
