tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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