Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
