Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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