i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
