I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
