The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
