just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
