Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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