Whod you bang
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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