Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize